I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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