matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
