He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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