It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
