she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
