Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
