"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
