I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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