will power is for people who don't want to get laid
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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