never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
