margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you will always have a special place in my vag
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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