My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
