The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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