Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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