If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
nutella sex= disaster
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
