I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
