And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
