her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
