No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
