Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just want nice things and good sex
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
