Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
