would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
