it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
