Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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