you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize