I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
