Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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