me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So vagazzling was a success
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
