we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
A bitchslap is in order.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
