I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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