if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
