You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize
