Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
