so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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