3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
