ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
