My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
