Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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