New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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