i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
