I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
