I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
