How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
