I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
