sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
