so explain again why im purple
no
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
