That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
