Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
