i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
