I feel like I'm in dance class right now
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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