Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
