is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
