This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
