i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
