3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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