So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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