it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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