how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
