Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
