dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Randomize
