is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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