I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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