Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
