im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
