I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Threesome in a minivan. New low
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
