I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
