he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize