we're blogging at a bar
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
